Let's Put On A Show!

With three songs on a CD, a script and a "press kit," I began looking for someone who might be interested in producing our little musical. I can't even remember the names of all of the people that I approached, had meetings with and gave the materials to (bad sentence, yes?). I do remember that I was doing a lot of fundraising for The Actors Fund and Actors Equity and therefore was being referred to some pretty well connected theater folks.

After about three months of this I realized that, even though the comments on what we had done so far were incredibly positive, we needed more. Much more than a press kit and a CD with three songs. We needed to put on a show! I envisioned a staged presentation that would be more like a rock show. We could invite all of the people that we wanted to pitch and wow them with the full force of the music.

A staged presentation with three songs would be pretty damned short (welcome!........thank you for coming!) so I arranged a meeting with Charlotte and Anna. At this point they had only committed to the music for three songs "for free" and I couldn't blame them. They actually made money from their songwriting and probably had much better things to do besides the "spec" work that I was asking of them. Nevertheless, that didn't stop me. We met at another uber-cool diner (I think this one was the Hollywood Hills Cafe- coincidentally also owned by the same people that owned the 101 Cafe from our last meeting- they're uber-cool!) and I made them an offer-sort of. I told them that I needed them to write the music for six more songs- by a certain date- or I would take the music out of the three songs already written and find someone else. Where did I get these balls? I recall waiting with sort of "baited breath" for them to answer. They took a while to think about it and possibly didn't give me an answer right then- but you know how it turned out. They said yes and went to work, God love 'em.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Music For The Lyrics

I wrote for and researched for six months, coming up with what I considered the first act of "Lovelace The Musical." It didn't take me long to realize that in order to create a musical, you actually need music- and I had no idea how to write music.

Luckily I was pretty well connected through my weekly Legendary Bingo event that featured guest celebrities most of the time. Jane Wiedlin of the Go-Go's had been one of our "Celebrity Guest Ballcallers" on a few occasions and we had become friends. When I had visited Jane at her house a few months earlier I noticed that she seemed to like porn or at least porn-type figurines- which she had all over the place. I mentioned the idea of the project to Jane and she immediately loved it. 

Before any of the work could be done, Jane surprised me with the announcement that she was moving to Costa Rica to open a restaurant with her brother. I was disappointed- I really liked the idea of a musical co-written by one of The Go-Go's. Remember I used to be a publicist- that's the way my brain works (and it never stops...). So I was thrilled when Jane suggested that Charlotte Caffey, another member of The Go-Go's who also wrote most of their hits, may be interested in joining the project.

We all met for the first time at Jane's house. Jane had warned me that Charlotte was a bit of a prude and this turned out to be true but I discovered that she was a prude with a wicked sense of humor. Charlotte brought Anna Waronker, her writing partner and partner in her record label with her. Coincidentally Charlotte and Anna were sisters-in-law, married to Steve and Jeff McDonald of the group "Red Kross" and Anna's father is the legendary Lenny Waronker of A & M Records. I was in the midst of a rock & roll dynasty!

Charlotte and Anna agreed to write the music for three songs in the developing show- "Hide My Soul," "My Cock" and "Strange Life," a song I had written to be the final number in the show in which Linda reflects back on her life and muses about her uncertain future.

I will never forget meeting with Charlotte Anna a month or so later at the 101 Cafe in Hollywood (one of the original overpriced "we're-so-cool" diners that are now very popular in that town). They handed me a disk and I slipped it in to my Walkman (no I-Pod then) and began to listen. What I heard was nothing less than miraculous. Their music had added that needed 3rd dimension to the words. I have never been so proud to be a writer. Now we had three songs and a very, very long way to go.

The First Two Songs- Very Different...

The first song that I wrote was "Hide My Soul." In Linda's book "Ordeal" she recounts how, early in her marriage to Chuck Traynor, he had taken her to a motel, ostensibly for bite to eat. Linda describes how Chuck led her to a motel room and asked her to go inside. In the room were five men in business suits who were enjoying the mini-bar. Assuming that the men were business associates of Chuck's Linda did not think too much about it. It was only when Chuck demanded that she take off her clothes and have sex with the men did Linda realize that her husband had "sold" her as a prostitute.

As Linda described the feelings that occurred as the men were taking turns with her, I imagined that she would have to find a safe place to be in order to make it through the horrifying situation that she was in. She would have to remove herself and literally "hide her soul" until it was over.

The lyrics to the song came flowing out (channeling Linda?). She sings about the lack of pain and that she "can't feel her body." She then travels back in her mind to happier places with friends and family. Anything to keep her safe. From this point on I was hooked on the story and needed to let the world know about Linda Lovelace and her amazing survival story.

After finishing the lyrics to "Hide My Soul" I needed an emotional break and began work on another song that was pushing its way forward in my brain. Linda's co-star in "Deep Throat" was Harry Reems and he was quite a character. According to the legend, he was hired as a lighting assistant for the film and only moved in front of the camera when the leading man failed to show for the shoot. He was a classically trained actor and had done a few porn movies in the past but was by no means famous. Harry was very full of himself- some would say "cocky." And that was the inspiration for my next song. 

I imagined Harry, on the set of "Deep Throat" suddenly becoming a rock star and letting the world know about what he considered his biggest and best asset. Yes, his cock. In order to write the lyrics to the song, I sat down with a large sheet of paper and decided to rhyme everything I could to all of the terms used for a gentleman's "member."  You'd be surprised at how many there are. And that is how Harry's song "My Cock" was born.

The Birth Of "Lovelace"

Linda Lovelace died in the month of April, 2002. Her obituary appeared in the Los Angeles Times a few days later. I had quit my job as on-set publicist at Hollywood Squares a few months earlier because I felt that I was not giving enough time and energy to my writing career. I thought that if I took a risk and went for broke (literally) the universe would see that I was serious and bring me the means to a financially stable creative career.

When I read the obituary, the first thing that struck me was how much I did not know about the life of Linda Lovelace. Of course I knew that she had starred in a 1970's adult film called "Deep Throat." After all "Deep Throat" was and continues to be the most famous porn movie of all times. What I did not know was that, after making the film, she left the world of porn and eventually wrote a scandalous bestselling book which accused her then husband Chuck Traynor of severe domestic abuse and literally told the world that she was an "unwilling victim" of pornography. The article also revealed that Linda became an avid "anti-pornography crusader" and had testified in front of the Senate on several occasions about her ordeal (in fact her first "after-porn) book is called, fittingly, "Ordeal."

All of this left me wondering what kind of universe is this where the woman who was arguably the most famous adult film actress in the world actually didn't want to even be associated with the film that made her famous? I wanted more- much more- so I found myself spending hours on Ebay buying up all of her books as well as Googling anything I could find about the confusing Miss Linda Lovelace.

Months later, armed with a plethora of information about Linda, I came to discover that she had a very sad life, a very tragic life and seemed only to be happy during the period of her fame which was short lived. She ended up cleaning office buildings, suffered from cancer and varicose veins (from the beatings that Chuck had given her, according to Linda) and died in a car crash when she was 52 years old.

Each time that I envisioned writing a feature film about Linda Lovelace I came away with the feeling that it was all just too sad. And then one morning I awoke to an idea. If I made it a musical I could inject some much needed humor by writing songs that dealt with the making of "Deep Throat." I was cognisant of the fact that I did not want to minimize her journey or her pain, only to tell a well rounded story that audiences could walk away from experiencing Linda's story without being knocked over the head with it.

I had never attempted to write a musical although I had had nine plays produced. Lyrics were not my forte but I was inspired and sat down with a pad of paper and began to write- hopefully channeling a bit of Linda in the process.